The Traitor Tree---Part 2

The saga continues.
(sung to the melody of Oh Christmas Tree)
Oh Traitor tree,
Oh Traitor tree,
How maddening are your lights,
Oh Traitor tree,
Oh Traitor tree,
You are so annoying,
You won't work with new fuses,
You won't work with new bulbs,
Oh Traitor tree,
Oh Traitor tree,
I wish I could destroy you.


Well, I have tried new bulbs. I have tried new fuses in the plug. I have prayed. I have chanted. I have threatened. I bought a new strand of freakin lights.

There it sits in the corner, mocking me in all of its glory. Do you hear that?
That is the sound of the tree, laughing maniacally, at all of the effort it took for me to be defeated. If you look closely, you can see the smirk on its tree face.

After trying every way, short of testing every.single.bulb., I decided to buy a strand of lights and just use them where the tree lights should be working. This of course means that when I take this tree down after Christmas, I will have to remove the lights that no longer work, and try to figure out how to secure a new strand of lights in its place.

What is so special about this tree you might ask?

1.) I can put it together. By myself. Since I am the holiday decorator in this house, I needed a tree that was easy to deal with.
2.) It was reasonably priced.
3.) It is narrow, and so I only have to rearrange a few pieces of furniture, instead of the whole living room!!!
4.) I don't have to have a whole ton of ornaments to decorate it. I have two rubbermaid totes for my Christmas crap. That is how I want to keep it.
5.) It works for me. My tree is themed in silver and blue, and the clear lights are perfect. The size is perfect--(not that size matters, or so I have been told, hahahaha). It takes up minimal space, either way--out of the box, or put back in the box.
6.) I am too damn stubborn to give up and admit defeat. Yes the tree may think it has won, but oh no, it has not. This tree will rue the day it crossed me. Oh yes, victory will be mine, it will be mine!

Traitor Tree------4
Robyn--------------2

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, tree of death!

OMFG

So, my dad must have brained himself, because that is the only reason why I can think he put a video up on Google Video.

Did I mention this is a video that he and my mom made. No not porn-gag-yuck-puke-barf. They made a commercial. A fruit cocktail tree commercial. They made this like 20-25 years ago. Google it. Go to google. Type in Google Video. Then when you get there, type in fruit cocktail tree.

The horror. The horror.

OMFG.

I have no words. Words completely fail me.

Yowza.