Funny Little Moments

Two year olds are great!

It is like having a bit of a drunk around. They stumble a bit, fall asleep in the middle of things, drool, laugh at things no one else finds as funny as they do, they say whatever, where ever and when ever they want!

Their observations of life are indeed too funny for words! They ask the most inappropriate questions, at the most inappropriate times, and all we do is laugh, because damnit, it is funny.

I mean if an adult asked you, "Can I play with your boobs?" You would--
A.) Smack them
B.) Scream at them "piss off asshole"
C.) Roll your eyes at them
D.) Contemplate calling the police because it is obvious they are deranged and nutty all at the same time which makes you uncomfortable
E.) All of the above.

Of course when the two year old asks--

"Can I pway wit you boobs, pwease?",
you try ever so much, not to laugh outloud, as that would just be like saying--

"Yes, please play with my boobs, I would appreciate it, and by the way thanks for noticing!".

Then you stifle the laugh that threatens to come out, and somehow they know this, so they use it their advantage anyway.

You watch in slow motion as this little hand reaches out, hand open, fingers spread, as if he were ready to squeeze an orange for ripeness, and he says as he grabs your boob

"Honk honk".

At which point you move his hand, still trying not to laugh outloud, not to smile, but failing, and say--

"That is inappropriate, stop.".

Then he gives an impish look of mischief, and smiles. Almost as if he is saying outloud--

"Mission accomplished. Time for phase two."

He then asks in the sweetest little voice possible --

"Why not????"

All the while you see the devil horns sprouting, and you know no matter what you say, he thinks this is the best fun ever, because he flustered you, and he knows it.

It keeps getting better though. They are natural comics, which of course they know, and use to their advantage.
I think the theory there is that you cannot get punished, if you make the old person laugh. This ironically is true for two year olds and drunks alike.

When you are drunk, if you can get all the fuddy-duddies to laugh at you, you have won a victory. Therefore making it impossible for someone to stop you in drinking more and punish you by making you get sober, which is like the adult drunk equivalent of timeout.

So you see, drunks and two year olds have alot in common. Thankfully two year olds don't drive, and generally are cuter, and you can pick a two year old up and move them easily if need be. Also, you know that a two year old will outgrow this behavior, whereas a drunk, will not.

Ponder all of that my friends!