The Horror, the horror...

Yesterday, was the closest to apocalypse Now, that we had come to this week. At certain points in time, I felt as though they were colonel Kurtz. Just waiting to cannibalize my soul. I was Captain Willard to their Kurtz.

It was hard to tell who was in charge, as the position seemed to change frequently. It was as if they had decided to share the joy of driving me insane.

There was much yelling and lamenting done by the combatants as their plan unfolded. There was a an explosion of epic dimensions. Who knew that a bowl of popcorn could be used as carpet napalm. I could almost hear them say

"I love the smell of popcorn napalm in the afternoon, it's the smell of victory".

There was an evil glint in their beady little eyes. I knew without a doubt, that it was going to be a struggle for control. I knew that I would have a difficult day. Thoughts ran through my mind furiously. Thoughts such as:

"The house. Shit! I am still in the house. Everytime I wake up I think I am going be back in the toy room. When my husband comes home, I look up to see the rest of the house. I hardly said anything to him, except yes to dinner. When I was here, I wanted to be there. When I was there I wanted to be back in the toy room, toughing it out, cleaning up their mess. Its been almost a week that they have been here. I am waiting for them to cooperate, getting softer each day that passes. Every minute I am here, I get weaker, start to roll over more on the easiest thing. Every minute I am here, the combatants squat in their room, planning their attack on my will, getting stronger in their manipulation. Each time I look around, the house gets smaller, the toys get bigger. My will gets smaller."

I knew I was losing it. I knew they were gaining the upper hand.
I could only to hope to be able to complete the mission with "extreme prejudice". I knew that this mission would never exist in the books. That it was to be a covert mission. I knew all of this, and I still went for it. I fully expected to see barbie doll heads on sticks. While the 2 year old combatant talked on quickly, every once and a while saying
"Its been approved, its all been approved." Followed quickly by
"The barbie heads, eh, sometimes they go to far, but they are fighting the war man, they are fighting the power man."

When talking to the older three, I expected have a conversation like this:

me--"It seems as if you all have gone insane, your actions are unsound"
them--"Our actions are insane?"
me---"I don't see a safe action at all, "
them---"I expected that from someone like you. What did you expect from us? Are you a parent?"
me---"I am a parent."
them--"You are an errand girl. Carrying out the orders from our mother."

The wild eyed look of the combatants was unreal. The hunt was on.

There is one day left until I get leave. I hope I can triumph over their manipulations, and dirty tactics (puppy dog eyes). I hope to complete the mission with my sanity intact. I will post another report tomorrow.

(www.filmsite.org/apoc.html ---Read the first set of quotes from the movie. And then there are a few more that I shamelessly used as inspiration! No copy right infringement is intended. It is my weak attempt at parody!)