today has not been a good day for me. I woke in a fog, a bad mood, from too much ambien, and too little quality sleep.
i feel unloved, unwanted, and decidedly alone. i have no friends of my own, and most of the time that is ok, but today i really needed someone, and i had no one. i felt like crying, but was out of tears. felt like screaming but had no voice. and felt like smashing something to tiny bits, but instead did something productive.
i was doing pretty well, and then today, i just felt icky. i hope it is only a speed bump on the road of robyn's happiness. i am afraid that it isn't.
what does it mean when the ones you love find someone else to love instead of you?
it is what it is.