So I did the month of December bills today. I did it today because on Wednesday Rob got his paycheck stub. I did it today, so I can be that damn responsible adult you are supposed to be. I then called the bank to make sure the direct deposit had made it in.
NO!
For the love of everything good and holy. The fucking transfer of funds has not been completed. That means the bills I was going to pay today online, so I don"t forget them, cannot be done, because as we all know, with electronic funds transfers, the money comes out like yesterday! Now, those in the wee office that get their checks in hand, and not direct deposit, got their checks. On Wednesday. Fucking great googly moogly. We are going to have to go back to the paycheck in hand shit again. I hate that crap.
We are not as bad off as I had thought we might be, with me losing my wee bit on the side, but still, I think I need a job for all of the invariable what ifs, that come up.
Like say Christmas. Or internet porn, and a subscription to it that was not authorized, by say a 9 year old.
Yes, my 9 year old, the one I so lovingly poured my heart out about last night, took my credit card, my Mickey Mouse credit card no less, and ordered himself some sweet anime ass. In August. I just now noticed the charges. 4 charges of 39.95.
Apparently he had to get some awesome animated poon, on the net, to spank the wrinkly necked monkey to. To say I am shocked is an understatement. But my shock has to do with the plastic part of this situation.
The theft of my damn Mickey Mouse credit card. Poor innocent Mickey was used to well, slip the proverbial Mickey to my pocket book.
Never thought the child that came out of my womb, via a forced eviction (c-section) would do that. Hell I didn't even think he knew how to use a credit card online. I can barely do it. And that he kept it hush hush and on the QT for so long, and that I didn't see the charges? Well you might as well just hit me with the feather of irony now, so I can be knocked out.
As for the fantabulous world of animated knicker lickers, well I knew he was looking up things such as "anime boobies", and "cartoon cock".
Hell I even knew he was spanking the mini-gobbler porker stick for a while.
And while it bothers me because, ewwwww who wants to walk in on their child beating off to animated ass shots, and cartoon clits? Um, not me. It is like the total of ick of seeing your parents mate. Ick, ick, ick. I understand that a boy, a pre-pubescent boy will do such things. I try not to pay it any mind. It happens.
He wants to touch the pole of pleasure, go for it.
Don't do it at my computer, or with anyone else.
You want to see Strawberry Shortcake get creamed from Benny the Banana?, Weird but hey ok. Just don't be sharing the cumming of age cartoons with anyone else.
And for god's sake, don't use my credit card to buy subscriptions to Bob the Builder and Wendy gettin dirty at the construction yard, or Power Puff Girls Go wild, the bisexual edition.
It frankly squicks me the fuck out.
And for the love of all that is holy, do not leave that in your history. That is all we need, to have someone else find Barbie and Christie to time Todd. Or Polly Pocket Plays Pocket Pool with Paulie the Pugnacious Pantie waste.
Yeah. Not good.
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