Disappointed

Can you be disappointed with your life?

I think I am. I am not smart, so it will be difficult for me to change the situation I currently find myself in. That is not to say this is a self indulgent pity party. I am trying to figure my life out and how to make it better, both financially and spiritually--though I am not in any way religious, that is the only word I could think of.

Money is extremely tight right now. And I really don't see that changing any time soon. I have part 2 of an interview for an at home position on Friday, and I hope to god I don't blow it. I have blown the school bus thing--I cannot handle the stress of the test taking. I have blown the head hunter agencies, again test taking was involved. So this interview, I hope will go well enough that I will be offered a position--no matter how temporary it may be.

And then we have the photography. My site is being updated. I get complements from people all the time about how good it is, yet no one wants to spend money on it.

I feel like a total failure.

My husband is in a bad place, and consequently I feel like I am to blame--me being the frigid bitch that I am--paraphrasing there.

I am in an awful mood, which I shouldn't be, because I am going to have lunch with my best friend who lives on the left side of the country and is back for a visit. She has what appears to be a great life. Great job, good looks, smart as all get out--and the list could go on.