Shaving A Yak.....

This morning when I was about to get in the shower, I saw what looked like the leftovers from a yak shaving contest. Upon further inspection, I realized my husband had shaved something.

Now my husband is one of the most hirsute men I have ever seen. Not gross hairy, he has a reasonably hairless back. But his hair grows so quickly, it amazes me. He doesn't get 5 o'clock shadow. He gets 10 am shadow.

I have actually seen razors run in fear from the thought of being used to shave his face. Shaving creams refuse to turn into their cream states. Staying the liquid goo in hopes of not being used on the uber scratchy face hair. Shaving products in general cower in fear at the thought of being used to groom my husband's facial hair.

The unfortunate thing is that my husband has sensitive skin. So that limits him even more as to what he can use. It makes trying to find a product that works, even more difficult.

So back to the yak shearing. Anyway I could have sworn a yak, or buffalo, or some other wooly furry creature had been groomed in the confines of my shower. So I cleaned it up before I would get in the shower. I cleaned it up of course by shoving it down the big ass drain in the shower. With jets of hot, hot water. I did not touch it. It has an ick factor like you wouldn't believe. I was hoping the maybe the hot ass water would melt the hair. At the very least, it would push the hair into the drain, and away it would go. Got that all cleaned up. Got in the shower. Decided I needed to shave my legs and other assorted girly parts--arm pits.

Wash the hair on my head with really yummy smelling shampoo. Thought to myself:
'I love the way this shampoo smells. Must buy more. So nice.'

Rinsed the hair, and proceeded to condition it. Again, my mind was else where, like say on the smell of the conditioner:
'I really like this conditioner. I can actually smell it on my hair, after I rinse it. Reminds me of the LA trip. So nice...'

I decide I should actually shave my legs. Get the right leg shaved. No nics, cuts or scrapes. Woo hoo. Then for whatever reason, decide my arm pits need shaved too. Right then. Now it is difficult for me to shave said arm pits, because it hard to see around the boobage clearly. This usually takes a good five minutes to get it done correctly. So not stragglers are left behind.

Get that done and decide I gotta get a move on before the kids start to show up. Rinse the conditioner out of the hair. Wash the body parts. Get done and out and start to dry off.

Get the lotion, so I don't turn into a crocodile from dry skin. Lotion the right leg, and think to myself:
"Nice and smooth, and now nicely lotioned.'

Get lotion in my hand, bring left leg up, start to rub the lotion in and notice:
'Holy shit, I forgot to shave my other leg. What the hell. Why didn't I shave both legs? OMG. I am so losing it. Does dementia start this early?'

So despite my best efforts, I will have to shave yet again this evening. Only one leg though.

Life is never boring with me and bathroom yaks.