I Am Chilly.....

After about 3 weeks of warm, lovely weather, where it maybe got as chilly as 45 at night, we had temps last night dip into the thirties. Ack. We had to turn the heat on. And right now I am shivering. Of course give me five minutes and I will be having a monster hot flash from hell. Literally.

It is lovely outside, at least to look at. It is very chilly out, so I will not be taking the boys outside anytime soon. Not that I could leave the house anyway. I am waiting for the plumber to get her, and fix my damn water heater, so I can have some hot water. You never really realize just how much you use warm/hot water until you cannot.

Could not take a bath or shower last night. Thankfully, I took one yesterday morning when the H2O heater was working, so we don't have too many flies circling us because we stink. I refuse to do dirty ass laundry in cold water. It just skeeves me out majorly. Hot water makes things clean. Cold water in my opinion, and contrary to the folks at Tide, does not. You wouldn't wash your dishes in cold water. You don't wash your hands in cold water, unless that is all you have, in which case you follow the handwashing with anti bacterial hand stuff, to make doubly sure you are clean. You drink cold water. You use it to cook with, to make tea and coffee with. Not to clean clothes.

Apparently the two years olds have decided that today is opposite day. Because everything I tell them not to do, they do anyway, and then are completely puzzled as to why they are in time out. Then I get the litany of "I want Mommmmmmeeeeee" over and over again. Each one more pathetic then the last. I love the children. I do. I just wish they would listen to me, and follow the simple directions. You know things like:
"Don't run with the food in your mouth"
"Don't jump on the couch"
"Don't jump on the chair"
"Don't jump off the furniture"
"Please do not hit one another"
"Please eat your lunch"
"Please put the lunch in your mouth not your hair"

Yeah, things like that. Instead what they must hear is:

"Hey, how about you be really dangerous, and give me a heart attack and jump of the couch, chair, anything."

"Hey you know what sounds like a fantastic idea? Jumping on the furniture, yeah, the furniture with the wooden frames, and the coffee table with sharp corners next to it. Do it."

"You have food in your mouth? Well then by all means, you best run around with a huge gob of unchewed food in your yap. Nothing like having to have a Heimlich maneuver today. Sounds like great fun."

"Your lunch should in fact be used as hair gel. Go on. Do it. A little spoonful will do it up just right."

"Really, don't eat the lunch I made for you from scratch. God knows I want you to just stare at it, and watch it grow legs and run away from the boredom of not being eaten. Plus, I really don't want you to grow, so please, just don't even try a bite, k?"

Yep that is what it must sound like. That is the only thing I can figure out. Oy vey!