Yet More Lyrics That Speak To Me

Updated for clarity!  06/18/2015

So lately life has been on the rough side of things. Money woes, people woes. It all plays into the general chaotic feel of this crazy life I lead. I got a job. Out of necessity and luck, I got a job. I will be working from home, in the evening, and some of you fine people out there might even hear my voice. Hopefully I can do this job, and not have too many people blow whistles in my ears--yes that was one scenario I was warned about.

I did that job for a couple of months.  It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great.  Ugh.

I have insomnia right now, which sucks. I want to sleep in my new king sized bed--the only new mattress we have purchased in our 17 years together-lest you think we spend will nilly. I would love to be able to lay down, close my eyes, numb out and pass out. But I can't/don't. My mind doesn't turn off. Ever.
Still happens.

This morning I dreamed that we had a flat tire on our car. It was disturbing. That is the only dream I have remembered in a long time. I no longer have good dreams. Or dreams worth remembering. Just left over shit I have not processed from the day.

The other night in the midst of my insomnia, and rage, and anger, and sadness, I did something very irrational. Something most people would ask why would you do that? Something that as a sane person, I never thought I would do.

I called the shrink the next day. I know this is not healthy behavior or response to stress, but it is what I did.
I have been seeing the shrink and on meds and have evened out, still stressed, but not distressed!

No one noticed.
No one.
On to the Lyrics of the day that sing to my soul... ..
Robbie Williams
Feel

Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given

I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste

I don't want to die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her
I scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel real love
And a life ever after
I cannot give it up

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste

I just wanna feel real love
In a life ever after
There's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place

Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
Not sure I understand [4x]