Turkey Day Musings

We had our usual turkey day gathering at my parents house. I am lucky, my in laws go there to eat as well, so no having to go to a million different places in one afternoon.

We had all the usual feast items, and for the first time in I don't know how many years I did not make some sort of bread product. Usually I make rolls or bread, but this year, I just didn't feel like it. Which of course meant my mom should have had rolls.

She tells me--

"Get into the freezer, and get out the Bob Evans rolls I got."

I am thinking, cool, she got some decent rolls, I don't feel so bad about not making any. I stroll over to the freezer, open the damn door, and start to look for the rolls. In the door I find a package of Bob Evans rolls. One package. 7 rolls. There are going to be 14 people having turkey day here. Hmmmmm. She must be joking right? NO.

"Mom you have to thaw and let these rolls rise, and it is already 4, and people are supposed to be here by 5.." And thinking in my head also there are only 7. They are not rabbits, they will not multiply over the course of raising and thawing, duh.

"Oh, really?"

Me thinking--did you not actually read the package before you bought them? Or did you just chuck the package into the cart thinking there would be a million rolls in one dinky container?

"I suppose we could run and get some?"

"Oh yeah, that is what we should do..." Turns to my dad "Mike we have to run to the store..." .

"I will drive, mom."

Because I don't want to be in the car with you when you are driving, as you scare the shit out of me when you drive.

Just then my brother shows up with his entourage, so I decide right then and there that he will go with me, and not take my mom, that way I won't have to heave her out of the moving car when she annoys me.

We go to K-Roger (okay so it is really kroger, bite me, I hate them.).

Find rolls in a package that don't need heated up, because we are clearly running out of time. Buy 4 packages, because god knows if I don't there will not be enough, and I would rather have too many then not enough.

The rest of the afternoon goes well. Rob gets there with his parental units, and carves the turkey. As he is carving it, my son comes in and says out of the blue--

"I want a drumstick."

I just stare at him like he has grown an extra head. The turkey you see is huge. My mother must have gone to Giant Turkeys R Us to get said roasted beast. Spenser, while not a small child, is still asking for huge freakin piece of turkey. And macaroni.

We give him the damn drumstick, and lo and behold he eats the damn thing. He practically has to use a ladder to get to the top of it to take a bite out of it, but he eats the whole damn thing. I am amazed.

He does and says some of the strangest and funniest things.

Like the time for mother's day, when he drew a picture of an airplane, and gave it to me as my gift. I thought that was sweet. The funny part was what he said to me as I lay in bed half awake. He said---

"Happy Mother's Day. Welcome to flight."

I am sure my mouth dropped open, because really what 2 year old says that to their mother, and really, what the hell does that mean?
He frequently has these little nuggets of strangeness. It makes for interesting conversation that is for sure.

About a month ago we went out for dinner. As we were leaving I managed to pinch the hell out of my finger while trying to get into the car, so I am of course cursing a blue streak. Then I hear him laughing. Hard.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You."

I growl at him that it is not funny to laugh at someone when they hurt themselves. He then says, with that twinkle in his eyes--

"Your pain, is my victory."

Again, my mouth drops open. What the hell. The kid is 6. Where the hell does he come up with this shit. I could do nothing but laugh. And then laugh some more.

So I am thankful for all of this.

I am thankful for my crazy mom and dad.

For my siblings, although not sure that extends to the moron from Memphis.

I am very grateful to have a healthy son, who is ever so quirky.

And I am thankful for a husband, who although he does drive me nutters, loves me.

Yes, he loves me.

He loves me long time!

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha