The start of another work week. The start of another week in which I am constantly on egg shells wondering if my child will make it through relatively unscathed. This week is going to be different. On Thursday we have the intervention meeting with the school. Rob will be going, because I have to watch the 2 year olds. He is also going because as someone with bipolar, I think he can express what Spenser needs, a little better then me.
Between no and then, I need to come up with a list of things we want for Spenser. That is just so difficult, because I cannot put on there, I want him to be normal. I need to put goals on the list. I need to put things on this magical list such as what to do if he has a major meltdown. The thing is, is that half the time, when he has a major meltdown, I have no clue how to deal with it. I just want him to like school. I want him to learn, and not stand out as the kid that has "problems". Maybe these are things I can't have. Maybe these are things that Spenser are not meant to have. Maybe, just maybe there is a reason he is the way he is.
I wonder sometimes, if he is the way he is, so I can learn to be more compassionate. Is it so I can learn about to be more relaxed when dealing with stressful situations? I may never fully understand why my child had to have this illness.
All I do know is that my life would be crap without my own little spawn of satan! He means more to me then anything. I would gladly give my life so he could live. Not that he has asked me to do so, or I have been in the situation that warranted it. But my life is most assuredly better for having him in it.
Alright enough of the mushy crap!
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