Well, I think I will have to let go of all of the various house gnomes and elves I have hired to help with the up keep of the house. They are supposed to clean the house at night whilst we sleep. Well they must be slacking, because I have spent the day cleaning.
I have had to do all of the laundry, including ironing, because the house gnomes that were supposed to do it, apparently went on permanant vacation. Same thing with the elves that are supposed to dust and vacuum. Drat, and double drat!
Then of course I have new elves that have moved into the house. These are of the rare species of elves, one rarely sees. These are the screeching closet elves. Since the kids have no school today, they are of course home. The two year old male child, is napping. So like any sane person who wants five minutes of peace would do, I warned the children that if they screamed and yelled and woke the two year, they would sit for the rest of the day. Well of course they all agree that this is a good rule! Various forms of yes we will obey were said.
Then I heard it. It was a loud screeching sound. I went to investigate. So I took statement from all of the potential perps. Of course none of them did it. That was my first clue I must have just heard from the elusive screeching closet elf.
It was obvious to me that the screeching I would hear was not from the angelic children (cough, cough), but from that screeching closet elf.
So after coming to that conclusion, I have decided I have had it with all of the gnomes and elves. Screw em. They are history. Guess I will just get back to my cleaning!
No elves or gnomes were harmed in the making of this rant. Children were not harmed either. I however may be seriously emotional harmed from all of the bickering that is three kids trying to out do one another for an entire day.
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