Well, Rob had to go to Boca Raton again today. He went a couple weeks ago, and it was a total cluster fuck. So today he goes, so he can be there tomorrow to get done, what couldn't be done a couple weeks ago. Sigh.
I hate being by myself. Or rather, I hate when he is gone. I feel empty. Like part of me is missing. It is like my soul has decided to play hide and seek, and I won't be able to find it until tomorrow at about 8 p.m.
He hates to travel without me, I can't really blame him. When I am with him, I drive. He hates driving, so I drive for him. I don't mind it so much, so it is usually no big thing for me. He will have to drive whilst down there. He will have drive in a place he really doesn't know. That thought alone makes me want to have an anxiety attack for him.
When he is with me, I am the people person. I am the one who deals with people, so he doesn't have to. Being somewhat anti-social makes it difficult to speak to others. I am his buffer. I guess you could say I am the spokesperson for us. I don't even think that I am doing anything outstanding. I love him. I do this because I love him, and want him as happy as he can possibly be. It is second nature now.
I just don't know what to do without him. Really, honestly. I had this issue on Saturday while out in LA. Lorien went and spent time with her squeeze, which you know one is supposed to do. I completely understand, because at that point I wanted to spend time with my main man, and I couldn't. So I had no clue what to do with myself. I didn't feel comfortable just walking down Sunset Strip. There is only so much time one can spend in the hotel lobby, or room, or pool (looking at the pool because it was too damn frigid to get in, though I saw some crazy tourists doing it!), or gift shop, or elevator. I can honestly say I was miserable, because I had no one to share my time with, more importantly and specifically, I didn't have my husband with me.
He is my security blanket. I can't sleep without him. I don't want to eat, although I manage. I am lonely and if I still sucked my thumb, I would probably do it. I'll let you in on a little secret. In order for me to fall asleep at night, I need his hand on my butt. On the top and side of my butt. If I don't have that, I basically stay awake until I pass out. It totally sucks to have to depend on his hand for a good nights sleep. Man did that just sound perverted or what? Heh, thats me.
I cannot wait until he gets home tomorrow. I missed him before he left.
No we are not newlyweds. In fact we have been together almost 13 years, married almost 8. Oh me-o my-o.
Sigh.
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