So, I am going to try to go in order of what happened. Just remember, that I am a girl, who has never thought of herself as anything other then ordinary. I have to say now, I find myself thinking, maybe I am not so ordinary. Maybe, just maybe, I am a little special. And not just in the really mentally deficient way!
So here goes.
Wednesday March 8, 2006.
I arrived in LA at about 10:30 in the morning. My sister from another mother (ha!) Lorien got me from the airport. Luckily she was able to do that, so I didn't have to take a taxi or shuttle or rent a car and have a coronary driving in the crazy ass LA traffic. Since I had not had anything to eat, we stopped at a little place called Jerry's Famous Deli. Now let me just explain, that on Monday the 6th, I had gone to the orthodontist, and had the braces of pain adjusted, and had elastics put on them, to correct my cross bite. It hurt to chew.
We get to the deli, get seated, and I ordered soup, because well it is easy to eat! As we are sitting at the table, Lorien says to me, quietly:
"Is it me, or is that Bill Murray over at that table?"
Me being the Midwestern awe struck girl says as I stare:
"Oh my gawd, that is Bill Murray. Oh my gawd."
Lorien of course is not as affected by this as I am, so she politely says:
"Shhh. Don't stare. Just glance every so often."
Lesson one in star sightings, do not stare, and scream, OH MY GAWD, it is *insert name here*.
We finish lunch without me making a total ass of myself, and she drives me to the hotel, and she goes back to work. When I get to the hotel, my room is not ready, so I take a walk down to the Starbucks that is just about a five minute trot down the street. Oh yeah, I stayed at the Hyatt on Sunset, right across from the HOB. I go in order my vanilla steamer (mmm steamed milk. No really, it is very tasty.). I sit down at the table and wait, and notice that, hmm that guy sitting across from me looks familiar. Wait, that is Bobby the Asian guy from Mad TV. Holy crap. He is running lines, by himself. Wow. Cool. My name is called and I go to get my drink. What happens, because I am oh so suave? I trip on a newspaper rack. Yep. Made a huge amount of noise. To the point that the employees rush out from behind the counter to make sure I am not missing my foot. I very quickly and politely assure them that I am fine, just a bumbling idiot from Cincinnati. How would they know the Cincinnati part? I was wearing a Cincinnati Zoo baseball cap. Heh.
I decide that instead of falling in the middle of the Sunset Strip, for all to see, it would probably be better if I just went and sat in the lobby, and wait for my room.
So sit I do. And I call my hubby. Talk for all of ten minutes. And sit. And then I hear the elevators. I look up, and see Joey Fatone of Nsync. I am looking right at him. My mouth slightly agape. But, not yelling and not trying to stare directly at him. He sees me looking though, and at this point, I know I look less then cool, so I just smile like an idiot at an idiot convention. He smiles back, and sort of chuckles. He walks over to someone I can only guess was a financial adviser, and they sit and chat. I can see him out of the corner of my eye, and every once and a while he smiles. I think he knew I was watching him, but trying not to watch him. It was cool. He is a lot better looking in person.
Fifteen minutes or so go by, and who walks in, with an assistant? Lance Bass of Nsync. I had half of Nsync right behind my chair. He didn't smile at me or anything, but his assistant did. He was not as good looking as I had hoped he would be. Not saying he was dog butt ugly. He just isn't my type, so I think that played a big factor in my opinion of his looks. They all chat for about 10 minutes before getting up to go somewhere else. I was so excited. What can I say. After that, I had no more Star sightings that day.
Thursday March 9, 2006.
I get up fairly early since I am still on Cinci time. I decide to get dressed, put makeup on, because I have a huge goiter sprouting on the side of my nose, and I would like for it to be hidden (mineral makeup to the rescue!). I get ready--I am wearing my sparkly Rolling Stones t shirt, and my camo capris. I think I look cute! I go get my steamer and a muffin from starbucks, come back, and go up to the pool on the roof to look around. I was bored. After an hour or so, I decide to go down to the lobby to people watch. I see a lady I met the night before, she too was here to see the concerts. I decide I would sit with her, so I could have someone to talk to. I sit down and she tells me that members of the band have been walking around the lobby. I get so excited at the mere prospect of seeing them. Not talking or bothering them. Just watching them walking through the lobby. About 45 minutes to an hour later in strolls the drummer, and one of the guitarists. I try to be discreet and watch them. I feel like I am hopped up on speed I am so excited. They walk around a bit and then disappear.
An hour later, in walks this really tall guy in camo pants and a jean jacket (camo--the irony is just too much). I look up to his face, and realize, oh my gawd, it is Dean. The lead bass guitarist for TOFOG. Russells best friend for over 25 years. OMG. He is like a half second jaunt away from me. Susan, the woman I had been chatting with, says to me after I say hey look who it is:
"Let's go ride the elevator with him."
Well you didn't have to say that twice to me. We stand in the hall with him, waiting for the elevator. The elevator opens, and he holds it open for us!!!! We get in, and he asks in the most fantastic Australian accent I had heard thus far:
"What floor ladies?" (ladies, ladies, oh my gawd!)
Susan very unaffected says floor three please, and I of course stutter out in my dumbass afflicted moment:
"10, floor 10!" I felt like a moron. But it only gets better.
Susan being the smooth woman she is, asks:
"How was the show lastnight Dean?"
He looks at her for a moment like "How does she know?" but answers:
"Fine thanks."
By the time he answers, we are at the third floor. Susan gets off the elevator. The doors shut. He is standing directly across from me. My brain refuses to work in any way that might even be considered reasonable. So in my dumbass fugue state I say something brilliant:
"Hi!" Big cheesy grin. Big huge cheesy look at me I am a fan, and also a dumbass grin. Thankfully he must have an affinity for morons, because he was kind enough to say :
"Hi."
Of course the verbal retardation continued. Me:
"Hi!" Same goofy-look at the moron-grin.
Thankfully before this can continue on, and he can see that I am in fact a true moron, his floor springs up. The doors open and he starts to walk out. At this point I am like shaking. He looks back as he is half way out the doors and says, again in the lovely accent:
"Well, I'll see you later then."
Me. Well, again the attack of moron continued.
"Hi!" Same damn goofy nerd grin.
After what I realized had happened, I was basically horrified. Oh my gawd. I lost my mind. Not only lost it, but had it replaced with oatmeal, because obviously it was mush if I acted like that.
The afternoon goes on without anything else exciting happening. I get ready for the concert. I had on a good boob shirt. I actually looked good. I mean even I thought I looked good. That usually does not happen.
We get to the HOB. We were supposed to meet a group of people for dinner at 6:30. Well 6:30 had rolled around, and we were both starved, so we decided to go to the bar. we sat at the bar, and met a really nice guy. He bought our drinks for us, and we started chatting. Eddie (the nice guy) was intrigued that I had flown all the way from Cinci to see a concert. He just thought it was one of the cutest things ever. I told him that I was living out a dream. That an even bigger dream of mine would be to meet Russell Crowe and get an autograph for my son--not for me. He thought for a minute, and then said he would get us into the Foundation Room after the concert. Now, I have to say, I thought, yeah right. No one does that kind of thing anymore. I was so wrong. He was a complete gentleman. True to his word. He got us access to the Foundation Room. So a big huge thanks to Eddie the nice guy! He rocked.
We eat our bar dinner. Pay our tab, and he takes us to the Foundation Room and shows us around. Now because we had the magic bracelet of power, we didn't have to stand in line to get into the concert hall. This meant that although I didn't stand right in front of the stage, I still had a really great place to stand. I was on the right side, by the bar, about maybe 100 feet from the stage. No one could stand and block my view. I could go get drinks or go to the restroom, and not have to worry about losing my spot. It was awesome. The show as I have said was just the bomb. Totally awesome.
So before the encores started, we go to the Foundation Room because we could beat the crowd that way. Unfortunately, that meant I missed the encores for Thursday. Shortly after we had been in the Foundation Room, we met another guy named Bill. Eddie had to leave, but made sure to tell us he would make sure to leave info for us so we could get into the foundation room after the show on Friday as well.
Bill thought it was funny that I had come all the way for the show. When he found out that I was Cinci, he introduced me to his employee. Sean. Sean was from Cleveland. I gave him my condolences. We were friends from that point on. I have to say, I felt safe with both Bill and Sean. Maybe it was because they were from the Midwest, Bill was from Chicago. Maybe it was because they were out on business, and were on best behavior. I don't know which, but I was comfortable around them.
To make a long story a bit shorter, I was hit on by a couple different guys that gave me the heebees. We were bought drinks. I didn't drink but half of a Redbull-Vodka, and decided I wanted to be sober to be in control. During this time in the Foundation Room, members of the band were milling about. I didn't have enough nerve to say anything to them. And to be honest just being there, and knowing Russell Crowe was right across the hall in a private room, was enough for me. It was beyond my wildest expectations.
At 2 a.m. we were in the process of being herded out. It was closing time. We had finagled our way into staying 20 minutes later then everyone else. By the time we were leaving, we walked out of the main room, and right in front of us, was the private room for Russell and the band, with the door wide open. I heard his voice, and said to Bill and Sean and Lorien:
"Omg, I just heard him speak. Me. I heard him. OMG."
We were waiting for the private elevator to get to our floor, and Bill looks at me and says:
"Robyn, do you want to meet him?"
My heart does a flip. I start to panic, because I do not want to turn into an ass, but I also want to meet him.
"No, I don't...."
Lorien:
"If you want to meet him, now is the time to do it Robyn."
Bill:
"Seriously, if you want to I will go talk to the bartender."
Me.
"Ok."
Pitter patter, beat, beat, beat. My heart is flip flopping in my chest. I am sure if you looked you could see it.
Lorien heads to the bathroom. Bill to the bar. Sean goes into the hallway with me. I hear Russell's grumbly smooth Aussie accented voice. Swoon.
Sean walks right on in there. I stand with my mouth hanging open. He comes back out.
"He's in there."
"I know I can hear him." Swoon, melt, melt.
He grabs my hand, and says:
"Come on, I will get you to meet him."
I follow, in a daze.
We get in the room. There he is. He is wearing a ball cap. I think it was the maple leaves ball cap. He is wearing a blue and whit track suit. OMG. His back is to me as he is talking to someone. I slink back against the wall, just happy to be close enough to see him this close. Close enough I could touch him. I could grab his ass. Wait, that is his ass. OMG, he has a nice ass. Robyn, look up, don't stare at the man's ass.
Sean taps his arm, and holds out his hand. Russell glances over and says:
"Hold on mate."
I melt some more. I am a walking puddle. I say in a hushed yet still loud enough to be heard, and very excited voice:
"He said hold on mate. Sean he told you to hold on."
Sean shakes his head, and chuckles. I try to compose myself. I still think I won't get to say hi to him, and that is fine, because I am close to him. I can soak in the aura. I can feel the testosterone just dripping off him in buckets. I am in the presence of the one man in this world, beside my husband, that I would do anything for, that I would die to meet.
He turns around. The full assault of gorgeous that is Russell is faced in my direction. I am breathless. I am speechless. My eyes have transformed into saucers. My mouth goes dry. I want to cry I am so enthralled and excited. I think I may have a heart attack right there.
He sticks his hand out. Time is now in a state of slow motion. He says to Sean as he eyes him:
"Right, I'm Russell"
"Nice to meet you. I am Sean, and I have a big fan here who would love to meet you, she flew all the way from Cincinnati Ohio to see you, this is Robyn." He gestures to me.
Russell turns from Sean to me, holds out his unbelievably warm big hand. Takes a hold of my hand. I am dying inside. Trying not to cry, or swoon, or throw up. I concentrate on the warmth and firm feel of his hand gripping mine. He is eyeing me. Almost as if he is sizing me up. I swallow, sure that it was loud enough to hear across the street, let alone right there.
"Wow. Um."
"So you come from Cincinnati?"
"Yes. I came from Cincinnati to see your shows."
"Ah."
"My son..."
"Yes?"
"He is 7..."
I notice his face relaxes. His eyes soften as he holds my eyes with his. He smiles. He must know this is difficult for me, because I am clearly stuttering and not really making sense.
"Yes?"
"He loves your music."
"Really?"
"His name..."
"Yes?"
"is Spenser."
"Really?"
He is totally surprised. Totally genuine in his concern. Holding my gaze the entire time. Holding my hand the entire time.
"He loves your music. He is a big fan of you."
He smiles. The smile goes all the way to his eyes. He has the look of a parent who knows what it is like to have a child who loves something so much. He knows that I am overwhelmed to be able to tell him about my son. He is kind.
"That is great. His name is Spenser?"
"Yes. My husband named him."
Then my brain farts. I know he heard it.
"Oh my god, I can't believe this, you are Russell Crowe, OMG."
He smiles. He is amused. He is still holding my hand. His hand is soft and warm. I am in awe.
"I have to go now." He shakes my hand. Starts to let it go. Notice my hand is sweating, or is it his? Must be mine.
"Thank you so much, this means so much to me to be able to meet you and tell you about my son."
"No problem."
My hand leaves his. He turns to walk away, a smile lingering on his face. I think to myself, if nothing else, I have amused him. I am overwhelmed. I have to say something.
"Omg, I just met Russell Crowe. Sean, I met Russell Crowe. OMG."
Russell is walking out the hallway, hears me, turns, looks at me smiles, shakes his head and laughs. I become unglued. I shake, laugh, start to cry. I am happy.
Sean says:
"Come on, let's go. We can leave now."
I give him a hug. He smiles. I tell him thank you so much. We meet up with Bill and Lorien. Bill and Sean see that Russell is taking the stairs down to a waiting suburban. Sean says:
"Robyn, come on. Lets go, you can say goodbye to him. Come one hurry."
He grabs my hand and sort of pushes me in front of him. I take off down the stairs praying to the gods of balance that I do not fall down the stairs and knock him over, and break my neck.
I see him at the curb. The door being held open. a fan walks up and asks him to sign a poster. He does it. Happily. I chicken out, I don't say anything. I just stand there. I then begin to walk out to the sidewalk. He must have seen me.
As I walk up the sidewalk, the suburban starts up the driveway, he passes me. As he passes me, he looks at me, and waves. I wave back. He smiles. I could die right then.
I run back and hug Sean. I thank him and kiss his cheek. He tells me he didn't do this so I would kiss his cheek. He did it because I am from Ohio. I came all this way just to see the concert and he thought I should meet Russell. He does it so I can tell my son. I am not walking anymore. I am floating. He tells me that I am glowing. He cannot begin to describe just how much I am lit up from the inside out. He is happy for me. I hug him again. Thank him profusely.
I am overwhelmed. And this is just the beginning!
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