I suppose it is really hitting home now that I will not be going to NYC. It angers me. A lot.
I keep reading about all of these people who are going, and it just rubs in the unfairness that my life has turned out to be.
I can honestly say, I have now thought about running away. Except I am a chicken shit. I would also feel nothing but guilt leaving my family, but the thought is ever so tempting.
I am so stressed. I want to cry, but cannot. I want to scream but cannot. I just want to be mad at someone, have a focus for my anger. But I don't.