So we took Bipolar Boy to the doc yesterday. Sigh.
I suppose things could always be worse. I suppose. We have decided to yet again up the Abilify, as it has caused the least amount of side effects. If in a week or so we do not see improvements, I have to call, and then we will up his depakote dose. I think we are going to have to do that, since he has not had it fiddled with since February. The depakote is nasty stuff though. It causes a huge weight gain in both Rob and Spenser. It can screw up your liver. Your blood sugar levels. Dull his brain function to some degree.
Not a nice drug. However those risks have to be weighed against the benefits Spenser gets from them. The benefits? Well he no longer wants to kill others or himself, at least on a regular basis anyway. He is generally a happier child when the drugs work. Easier to deal with. Little things do not tend to cause a huge torrent of emotion when they work properly.
Nothing like having to try to decided which evil is the better evil for your child. I have so much guilt that it has to be this way. So much. But I will do what it takes to let Spenser have a "normal" childhood. With good memories, and good days. And of course whatever it takes to keep him alive and happy is what I am ultimately after.
I wish the government would push more funding towards finding a cure for mental illness. All mental illness. At the very least I wish they would let the use of E (mdma) be tested in the mentally ill. From all the research Rob has done, it would seriously help. Yet the government has outlawed any medical testing using it. See that is the kind of thing that makes me shake my head and think that we will never get a med or cure for mental illness.
Well I must cook. Having people over tonight who did rsvp, even if we had to call them to get them too. That however is a rant for a different day!