Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I'm So Ronery.....

Ok so I stole that song from Team America, the movie, but honestly I am. Rob leaves this evening for a business trip and I am freaking out like I always do. Not that you can tell, because I manage to keep the freak out inside. So my mind is buzzing.

I am a pessimist at heart. So of course I have nothing but worries. What happens if the plane crashes, and he doesn't come home?
What happens if the taxi crashes and he doesn't come home?
How would I live without him?
What would I tell Spenser?
How would I afford my life?
How would I afford Spenser's life?
Who would be there for me?
Who would understand me?
Who would love me?

You see I am a negative person at heart. And so I am scared.

I hate when he leaves. I hate when he is so far away. The last time he had to go so far away my grandma died and I couldn't get a hold of him at all. So I was alone, trying not to shatter.

I don't sleep when he is gone. I have little fits of naps, that are usually nothing but nightmares anyway. So I will be exhausted tomorrow. And I will have no one to help me with the kid tonight, or tomorrow, until he gets home.

It just sucks that he has to go. I could cry.

I am not looking forward to this evening. At all.


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