Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Revenge Of The Bastard Christmas Tree...

So last year, I made a post about how the bastard xmas tree was getting the better of me. The pre-lit tree, was sadly not pre-lighting.

And to make matters worse, I could not for the life of me figure out how to get it working.

Only half of the T.B.C.T. was lighting, the other half lie dormant, like an underground cicada in Cincinnati.

So I went out, and bought some cheap ass lights, and threw them on the tree, because I was beyond frustrated.

This year, I knew I had to prevail, and show the bastard tree who was boss.

So I took all of the lights off the tree. All the rotten non working for no reason that I can see, lights. I thought it would not be so bad. Just unwrap, right? Oh hell no.

Whoever manufactured this tree, made sure to put a teeny tiny tie wrap next to each.and.every.bulb. So I did what any sensible tree demoralizing person would do. Got the wire snips. And snipped, and snipped, and snipped.

Took me about an hour to get the lights off. Not only did I have to snip the tie wraps, but I ended up snipping the fucking lights themselves, because it was really confusing which way things were going.

I then got the new lights I bought at the end of the season last year, and began to try to figure out how to mount them on the tree. Heh.



That took me about an hour as well. I had to figure out how to get the lights on, so it didn't look like total crap on a stick. Then I got to the last 1/4 of the tree.

Two strands of lights, and it is too short.

A third strand would be way too long.

Let me clarify.

A third strand of the new lights I bought for this bastard, would be too long. So I grabbed the cheapos from last year.


Got the tree all strung up. Now we had to find room for it. Gah.

Ended up moving a table out of the computer room, which is directly off the kitchen and living room, open floor plan. And sticking said bastard tree where the table had been.

It looks good. I am pooped. The tree whooped my ass. I got it decorated and everything, and if I am not careful, the bottom strand, the el cheapo strand, goes out. If I jiggle it, it comes back on.


Oh well. It is pretty!

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