Monday, April 16, 2007
It Burns, It Burns.....
Warning this may be TMI for some, but I think it is humorous, so there you go.
So Saturday night, Rob and I were as Borat says, "Making Sexy Time", and I decided to pull out a sample of personal lube I got, for the hell of it. It was warming liquid.
I thought, oh this could be fun. Something different, you know?
I swear to god this was liquid napalm in a bottle. Gentle warming my ass. I could have set my hooha on fire and it wouldn't have burned as much.
It was awful.
We had to stop, so I could shower this stuff off.
I briefly thought I should get a glass of milk to pour over the burning areas, since you are supposed to drink milk when eating spicy food, but then thought that would be nasty.
I seriously rinsed the nether regions for over 15 minutes, the enitre time wishing to god I had never picked up the damned napalm sample.
Then Rob tells me his "boys" were burning.
You know when your privates feel like they are on fire, after using a product specifically made for that area of your body, you know something is very, very wrong.
Apparently this KY Warming Liquid was pure chili pepper oil. At least that is what it felt like.
Talk about ruining the moment. Nothing like having to stop in the middle to "cool" off.
For the love of everything holy, do not use this. Pun fully intended!