Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Happy Holidays

Nothing says happy holidays like a mentally ill relative screaming at you, that you want them to die. Really I mean what better gift can one get then complete and utter emotional chaos?

To make a long and very rough story short, my mother has lost it. She has finally gone way over the edge to cookoo land. And I am not sure when she is planning a return trip to Saneville. I don't think for a while. According to her, I blame her for my life's woes. For any problems I may have, and that I think she is/was a horrible person and parent.

This from a comment that said nothing of the sort. She asked, after I told her I was going through a lot of shit, mentally, she asked, I hope it wasn't anything I've done. I replied, Mom, you don't want to go there, just drop it.

So, on Sunday, I got 3 phone calls from my younger sister. The first one was about 3 minutes of her tearing me a new one for saying such horrible things to mom. Things like she was horrible. That she is the root of all of my problems. That she was a horrible person and parent, and that one day she hoped Spenser would say all those same things to me.

Let me just clarify, we were not home when the phone calls happened. We had gone out to grandpas for christmas lunch and to give him his gifts. So I had no clue wtf had been going on at my parents.

In short order, my mother pretty much had a complete breakdown. She screamed and yelled at my sister, my dad, hit my dad, took off in the new car, and called several times to threaten suicide and other assorted goodies.

Before she left however, she sat there as my sister left that asshole tearing message. She sat there, and said nothing. Didn't discourage her. Didn't try to stop her. Didn't take the phone. Just sat there and let her do it.

After she had left, my dad told my sister what I had really said. That I didn't want to go into my issues with her at the moment. That was it. I didn't condemn or otherwise disparage her. Sigh.

So I subsequently got 2 more messages from my sister who, was very, very embarrassed to have left the first message. She was bawling in both, the second one more so.

Needless to say I called my dad to find out what the fuck was going on. He explained all of the above, minus the whole mom not stopping my sister calling. I was flabbergasted. Absolutely flabbergasted that this had happened, and my mom had spiraled so far out of control she was threatening suicide. I told dad I do have issues with things mom did to me when I was a young child. And I have been working on those issues for the past 6 months especially. I was told something are not meant to be brought up. To live and let die so to speak. I told him I couldn't do that.

Later on I spoke with my sister, who was mortified. I told her that I wasn't mad at her, that she had been manipulated into leaving the message. That this was just how mom was, and this is what I had really said. I also told her why I had issues with mom.

It was after that phone call that I decided I would have to confront her sooner rather then later about all of this, and so I phoned my brother to warn him. We had a nice long chat. I told him not to say anything to mom about me, but gave him the heads up. He called her after he got off the phone with me. It was not a nice conversation, as he basically told her she needed help and until she got it, he would not be a party to the downward spiral that her life has turned into.

I then get a phone call from the parents asking what I said to Mike. This is when the shit really hit the fan. I finally stood up for myself and told them both what issues I had. How I had a huge problem with the fact that she beat me on several occasions. That one in particular was so bad a beating that I had to wear makeup to cover the bruises. She denied beating me. I repeated that she had and that even Mike remembered that specific beating. She again replied that she had not beat me that she spanked me. Then she lobbed the "well you beat Spenser" insult. I absolutely have not beat Spenser. I have spanked him, sure, but never beaten him and never left a bruise.

It was bad.

Very very bad.

I will post more later.

1 comment:

mom to four sons said...

sorry to hear about this... I hope overtime things will get better. Maybe she will get help.
take care,
love
Kathy