Been a while...

So my little brother and his wife to be had the baby, about 3 weeks early. She is healthy, gorgeous and tiny. Momma is healthy and gorgeous as well.

I am feeling very left out of this little imp's life. They live close to her family, which of course means her family will have the stronger bond with the wee little one. And apparently my brother is ok with that. I was so excited last week when she was born. I thought that I would be a big part of this little one's life, but so far no dice.

I understand that it is not even a week, but her family have been there everyday. I asked to come up on Sunday, but there was a birthday party they had to go to. So I didn't go. I texted and emailed yesterday asking if it was ok to come up, no reply until 6 at night.

Today my brother had to go to court--taking on the HOA, and Les went with him. Where did the baby go? To her mother's. I knew deep down this would happen. I am not going to know this kid. The same way I don't know my older siblings children. So my hope of getting my baby fix is sufficiently shattered.

I feel left out. Purposely left out.

I know our family is not wealthy like hers. Hell I like her family, and I like her. They are decent people. I just feel like my brother has moved on from our family to their/her family, and we are now just some people who used to be his family. Who used to hang out with him. Who helped him out. Who had him in our lives.

We are the has beens.

It is not a good feeling.

This afternoon they have an appointment with the pediatrician for the baby, so I can't go up there--unless I want to go this evening. My child has not met his cousin. He is asking about her. Wants to meet her. Made my brother and Les a card.

It is cruel. Hurtful.

I want my family back.