The Ups And Downs Of Life....

You know for whatever reason, I thought as you got older, and your life became more stable, your life would somehow get easier. Not harder.

I suppose I was a bit naive.

I don't want to have regrets about things I didn't get to do, but I also don't want to be irresponsible either. I have been told to go to NYC, even though financially it would be akin to suicide. I have been told by my parents, that it is only money--um yeah, money I don't have to spend. Sort of really alarms me my parents said that. They also said if there was anything they could do to let them know as they would do anything--I almost said, hey you got a spare grand lying around? Cause I could sure use that to finance my fantasy life as a TOFOG follower. But I didn't. It would have been funny however to hear the reaction that would have got though. Heh.

I just find really and truly ironic, that I have a freakin concert ticket, that happens to be a really good seat location, and yet, I can't use it. If I were not so pouty I might laugh at the irony of it. But I am pouty. I am moody. I am sincerely cheesed off that I cannot go. Not that I can truly be cheesed off at anyone person in particular. Although the whole thought of treating karma like a person also amuses me.

"hey karma, come here a minute, I am so gonna kick your ass for fucking up my plans. Yeah you, come here. You are about to get the beating of a life time. Yeah, yeah, save the taunting about what goes around comes around for someone else. I don't care what happens in the next life K, it is this life that you messed with, now prepare to get a beating."

But then I would probably be sent packing to the nut hut. Oh well what can you do?

Life is full of hard choices, and this happens to be one of them. I just don't know what to do.

Tres` sigh.