Saturday, May 06, 2006

Can't Remember What I Was Going To Originally Post......

That would be because for the past 40 minutes or so I have not even been able to log on to post new posts. Grrrrrrrr.

I realize that this is a free thing, but it still torks me to no end that it has so many issues. I have been trying to figure out how to get a new template, but either can't figure out how to correctly change the template code, or can't find one that I like enough to risk screwing this up.

Enough of that pathetic ass rant, on to other, better things!

I think I pulled a muscle in the back of my thigh. I think I have an idea of how I did it, and well you don't want to really know the gory details. Suffice it to say, I must remember that I am not in fact a gymnast, nor have I ever been a gymnast. I keep forgetting that, and I fear one day, I may be stuck in some bizarre pretzel like shape, so that when the paramedics are called to retrieve me, they will have to stop laughing before even attempting to rescue me.

I have already had one humiliating experience with paramedics retrieving me from an embarrassing place. About 4-5 years ago, my back went out. And when I say went out, I mean I could not do anything more then lay there and moan pathetically, while Spenser who was like 2 at most, took care of me. Bad situation to be in, but it couldn't be helped.

Anyway, my mom finally came over at some point in time. When she got here, I decided I would try to crawl to the bathroom, because I really had to go. So ever so gingerly I rolled over onto my belly. OMG, thought I would die right then, but little did I know it would be ever so much more embarrassing then that. Mind you I was in a t-shirt, no bra, and a pair of boxer shorts. Being that it was winter, I had not actually shaved my legs in like two weeks, because really who was going to see them? Ha! Little did I know.

I flop onto the belly. Start trying to crawl or wiggle really to the bathroom, from the living room. It took a freaking hour to get to the bathroom. At which time I no longer had to pee. I get into the bathroom, and actually manage to crawl to the tub. Decide I must get up onto the toilet. Pull myself up onto my knees, and break out in a sweat. See stars. Feel the world go black and close around my head, and damn near pass out. Luckily mom followed me in, so she caught me so I didn't brain myself on the tub. With her help, we managed to get me onto the toilet. Pants were still on. Toilet lid down. Just sitting on the toilet because I could not actually move.

For whatever reason we could not get a hold of Rob. So being that there were no other options open to help me, Mom calls 911. Yep. They send an ambulance. They send two paramedics. Do you see where this is going?

The paramedics might I add were good looking and young. I was mortified. They had to get me off the toilet, and onto a stretcher. Talk about all time embarrassing moments in one's life. That ranks right up there in the top 5.

Yep, so that is why I have fears about being in a, how shall we say, compromising position and having to have the paramedics rescue me from my own stupidity. Feel free to laugh, because I do now. Back then, not so much.

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