As part of my self entertainment program, when I have no children to look after, I went to Old Navy today. I don't know why I go there, I never really find anything that is my style there. I did however twist my ankle while there, and it hurts--a lot.
I am not sure how I twisted it, aside from my ankle buckling under my leg. Nor am I sure why I twisted it. I was wearing gym shoes. Not platforms, or high heels, or even boots, or flip flops, just tennis shoes, sneakers, gym shoes, etc.
For as long as I can remember, I have been unable to go for very long periods of time without inflicting some sort of damage or pain on myself. And it is never intentional.
If there were a hair on the floor, I would trip over it. It there was a strong breeze, I would fly forward and fall on my nose. I call it the curse. It generally sucks, because I inevitably injure myself in ways that even I cannot explain.
I remember one year, I think I was a senior in high school. Anyway, it was the day before Christmas Vacation began, and me and a couple of my friends were on our way down the steps to our lockers on the bottom floor of the school. Now these steps were your typical metal grated stairs that normally would cause no one any problems. Key word being normally. Heh. So we are about three steps from the bottom, when for no reason I can give, I went flying down the rest of the stairs, full speed, full force, tripping and flying. I could not stop. I was luckily still on my feet, but the momentum I managed to create, was enough that I managed to keep going after the last step and do a header into the glass and metal doors about 6 feet from the last step. Hard. I bounced off the doors, and flew backwards onto my ever loving ass. Hard. The wind knocked out of me. Stars in front of my eyes, as they watered. My friends are looking at me like the devil himself has just come out to hi, how are ya. My chin had a large, very large and red knot on it. Blood bruise forming. I gather my wits about me, and my friends who are at this point laughing hysterically at me, help me up. I start laughing too, if only because I didn't want to cry.
They then suggest I go to the nurse and get ice for my chin, and possibly my ass, as they thought I might have broken it. This of course means I have to go back up the stairs. Heh. I point this out to them. They decide to get on either side of me and guide me up the stairs like some simple minded back woods hill jack blind woman, so I don't proceed to fall up the steps, as I had done that previously as well, and get me to the nurse's office.
That is just one of the many times I have publicly embarrassed myself, with my amazing lack of dexterity. It continues to this day.
I cannot tell you how many times I have fallen and ripped my knees and elbows open. Or slammed my fingers in doors. Or burnt my forehead with the curling iron--oh yes that indeed did happen! I have also managed to peel my fingers whilst peeling various assorted veggies and fruits. Cut my hand with knives whilst cutting food things, and burned my hands and arms while baking.
I am ever so thankful for insurance, because I certainly need it.
So today was just the latest in my unending reign of physical prowess--well ok, in my amazing lack of physical prowess. I am as graceful as a rhino in china shop. Heh.