Saturday, July 01, 2006

Today Was A Bitch....

When the day starts off, with something being hammered on, before 7 a.m., which wakes you, you know the day is gonna suck.

I have no idea what or who was hammering, but damn it I was tired, and grumpy to be awakened in that way. I did go back to sleep but you know, it was still a horrible way to be awakened.

Cut to right around 8:30. I could no longer sleep. Could not get comfortable, as my knee is really tender/sore. So I got up and came out to the computer, had a cup of tea and tried to get a good mood back.

Then the phone rings about an hour later. My son who was supposed to be gone this weekend, or at the very least until tomorrow, has decided he wants to come home. Not because he misses me, or his father. No couldn't be a lovely reason like that. Because he wanted to play the god damned game cube. I think the game cube invention ranks right up there with the atomic bomb. It is a horrible device that turns mild mannered children into raving lunatic brats.

Never mind Rob and I were going to go out for a belated anniversary type date thingie. Hell no. So I went and got him.

It was not a pleasant ride home. Of course had he kept his mouth closed when I picked him up, that might have been different. But of course since the child does not know how to stay quiet, he mouthed off in front of my parents. My god, I wanted to...well I let's just say I was greatly unhappy.

He threw a tantrum when we got home. It wasn't pretty.

I am emotionally bankrupt right now. I know I was way too hard on him in the car. I know that I should have just kept my mouth shut, but I didn't. It was like the fuse was lit, and I had no other choice then to explode verbally. Which of course makes me feel like the worlds biggest ass.

I have apologized to him, and told him it was wrong of me to holler at him, and that I would try in the future to not do that.

Thing is the things that I said, were things along the line of

"If game cube is this important, then it has to go away,", or "You will not talk back to me like that again," or "I am very very angry with you right now."

In and of itself those things were not horrible things to say, it was more that I was basically yelling it at him, that makes me cringe now that I think about it.

Which then makes me think I should not be a mother, because obviously I suck at it.

Like I said, today has been a bitch, and so have I.

No comments: