Tuesday, October 17, 2006

When Things Go Wrong, They Really Go Wrong.

I thought yesterday was going to be a great day. I mean it was until about 2:58 in the afternoon.

That is when Spenser had a melt down of epic proportions at school. It was awful. Simply terrible.

You have not experienced terror until you get to see your child in a therapeutic hold to prevent him from hurting himself or others.

You have not experienced embarrassment until your child manages to punch you in the face, while you are trying to calm him, at school, in front of teachers and administrative staff.

You have not prayed for the ground to swallow you whole until your child decides to turn into a sailor, by telling the teachers, you, and administrative staff to fuck off.

It was terrible.

I was in tears. He did not look like my child. He looked like a demon.

He eventually calmed down, and then it was as if nothing had happened. Like he had had a normal day with no issues what so ever.


I am ever so thankful that Thursday is the IEP meeting. I am pretty sure this incident just reinforces why he needs one. I am shell shocked. Literally. The worst part? I don't want to be around him right now.

So we have that going on.

On top of that, Rob's work situation is less then optimal. He is very stressed, to the point of being physically ill. I am seriously looking into seeing if there is any way he can apply and get disability.

His bipolar is not getting better, he needs different meds, and a positive work environment. I don't know of any place that is bipolar friendly, that is hiring someone like Rob. With his experience and such.

And sadly I couldn't earn enough to support us so Rob doesn't have to work.

Well ok, I am sure I could find some sort of job that paid enough, it just wouldn't be legal.

So life is totally sucking right now. Right now it is in fact a suckfest of huge proportions.

You hear that? That is life sucking the vitality out of me and my family.


1 comment:

Kathy said...

I am so sorry.. it sounds just dreadful.. I can't imagine.

my heart goes out to you.

love ya