Sigh

So I am sitting here avoiding the transcription that is currently plaguing me, mocking me with its' tediousness.

I will do it, I am just beat beyond anything I thought I would be this evening. No energy and I know I would fall asleep if I started it, so tomorrow is a transcription/eye balls on stalks day.

As I am sitting here, I got to thinking about a friend of mine I have not heard from in a while. They moved and have not been in contact with me since they moved, and I am concerned. More then anything I wish they would e mail me and tell me they are ok, because, I am worried about them. I miss talking to them, really, really miss talking to them. And yes I am being obscenely vague for a reason.

I am having some weird reactions after taking Ambien lately. Not sure if it is because I am so stressed that I am stuffing everything down, or what. All I know is that once I started hyperventilating and got hysterical upset because Rob and I had a disagreement. Yes, after I took the Ambien.

It was awful.

And then last night after I took it, I had emotional diarhea. Started crying and telling Rob how much I loved him, amongst other things. I wish I could remember every thing I said, but I don't. I have the slightest notion that it was not pleasant and that Rob maybe thinks I have lost my ever loving mind. I am hoping it is stress. Although, I think I need my citalopram increased. I am not as happy as I was even three weeks ago.

I suppose when I go back to my doc I will tell him that.

Another thing bumming me out, is that I have that stupid apron of skin from the c-section with Spenser. No matter what I do I never lose that. It is always there, so I always, always feel rotund. It makes my pants size a size bigger then I would be in if I didn't have it. I am hoping that insurance will pay for a tummy tuck, but I doubt it. It hurts. There is a ton of scar tissue, and it looks gross.

I am super whiny. Super tired. And not quite so bouncy right now. Argh.