Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Red Hot Searing Pain...

Imagine, that it feels like your insides are on fire, being poked at, a sharp and burning sensation.

Starting at one point in your lower right abdomen, and spreading from there around your back, and your front. Down the top of your leg, and shooting up the inside of the abdomen towards your ribs.

Imagine having that same pain, on the left side.

Now imagine that you have this pain pretty much everyday.

Some days are worse, the searing sensation more intense. Some days it dulls a bit, but it is still there. Then add to that a general sense of fatigue. So much so that even though you are not the type to nap during the day, you find it necessary to nap.

Now, add to that going from doctor to doctor to try to figure out what is going on. Having 2 out of 3 doctors act like you are just trying to hit them up for pain killers, and the third not sure what is wrong, but willing to try to find out.

Add five and half months of this cycle. This cycle where you think you might actually be going crazy and that maybe your mind is playing tricks on you, since the docs cannot figure this out. 5 and a half months where you are not yourself. Where you don't want to do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone, because you feel like all you do is whine.

That is what it has been like for the past five and a half months. And today, well today is already a bad one. My side hurts so bad, I am nauseated. I want to go back to bed and sleep. But I probably will not. I need to get stuff done.


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