We watched a documentary last night.
It was a very sobering documentary.
It was in essence about suicide. Those it effects, those who have done it, or tried to do it, those who stopped others from doing it, the families left behind.
It was just so, sobering.
The people who did commit suicide, by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, were mentally ill. Schizophrenic, paranoid schizophrenics, bipolar, depressed.
After about 15 minutes in, I started thinking about Spenser.
If we are lucky, and Spenser is lucky, he will always have his bipolar under control, and never want to go this route.
However, that is most likely not going to be the case.
I don't know many mentally ill people, who have a gusto for living, 100% of the time.
I fear that one day, we may be getting a call from some official, telling us, we will need to bury our child. Or if he hasn't succeeded, he needs to be admitted to a psych facility. Or that he has been court ordered into an institution.
Yes, that is what this movie brought to mind.
I couldn't even cry, because unfortunately, this is life. This is the life my child may have. This is what my husband has lived with all of his life. The urge to not exist anymore.
It was a good documentary. Thought provoking. Sobering.