Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Not Quite Sure Why I Even Bother....

Caring anymore about a certain someone, who obviously wants nothing to do with me. Maybe I like to torture myself. I don't know.

All I do know is that I am now monumentally hurt, and pissed off. I don't understand how hard it is just send an email or text that says I am busy will talk to you later.

That is all. Nothing more, nothing less. But apparently that is too much to ask for.

Now when he comes calling again, which I am sure he will, I am so beyond regular ordinary pissed off and hurt, that I doubt I will be able to do anything other then sit there and not respond.

I do and yet don't want to chew him out. Only because I do not want to say anything that I will regret later. However the impulse to tell him to fuck off and grow up is so strong, that it is consuming me.

I hate being taken advantage of, and used. And that is exactly how I am feeling right now.

I hate this. I really really hate this.

I am so very angry, that no matter what I do right now, it is never far away in my mind, that he has in fact essentially told me to fuck off, by not saying anything at all. And it is so disrespectful, that it hurts beyond all reason.

I would say it is because he is male, but then not every male is that way. Frankly there is not an excuse that he can make at this point in time, short of a death in his immediate family, that would make me any more forgiving of this total lack of respect on his part.


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