Monday, October 15, 2007

You Gotta Know When To Give Up The Ghost....

When to say enough is enough, and realize that you can be screwed either way, it is just how much or how little screwing you want.

We had to make a big decision today, one that is for all intents and purposes permanent, and ever lasting.

One that, no matter what we did, we were going to get screwed. Because nothing is ever easy, nothing is ever right, and life never works out quite the way you planned it.

Which all sounds very dramatic and pessimistic, but you know, I have been through the wringer, Rob has been through the wringer, and to a less extent, so has Spenser.

I was tired of fighting, of thinking the other party would do the right thing, and hoping against all hope that the outcome would be fair.

After all we were not asking for the moon.

We were asking for what we thought was fair. We were honest, and cooperative. We jumped through hoop after ever loving hoop, and in the end, we had to be the ones to say this is as good as it gets.

It was like aiming your sights on an ever moving target, and just when you think you've got it, it moves again, far, far away. And you have to refocus.

I have to ask myself if it was worth it? Did I do the right thing?

I'm not sure. I didn't want to get this far in the first place. My intention was never to have it get to this point. But along the way, I got insulted, repeatedly. I was lied to, and made to feel as if somehow it was my fault, that the things that had happened, happened, instead of dumb fucking luck.

I am not happy. I doubt I ever will be happy with the decision we came to, but it was the lesser of the two evils, and the one that ultimately paid off a bit more then going all the way would have.

Mostly, my faith in corporate America, the legal system, and my fellow man has been utterly shattered. I am pissed off, sad, pissed off, and mostly, well pissed off.

So in my own fashion, I will deal with this issue. I will be boycotting those that could not and would not do the right thing. I may be only one person, but at least I won't give them the satisfaction of taking from me, that which is left. And I will stand my ground. They can go take a flying leap.

And this probably doesn't make sense, but oh well. Life doesn't either.

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