It's Over, Sigh...

I knew that it was over. I did, but I had hoped that I was wrong, that it wouldn't be over, but just an over extended long drawn out break.

No, it's over.

Phred pretty much said as much last night.

Sigh.

I didn't intend to have the feelings that I have for him. I didn't intend to get so deep. I guess that is the ever present danger with living the life style I live.

I held it together on the phone with him. What else could I do?

I would rather have him in my life, strictly platonic, then to not have him in my life at all. However it is going to be hard.

Last night, before falling asleep, I cried my eyes out. Texted with my Nini, and cried myself to sleep. Woke at 3, distraught. Drank a sprite of all things, and went back to sleep. And promptly over slept.

He will be here tonight. And I don't know what I will do. I suppose I will put on the brave face, and pretend I am fine.

Pretend to have more grace then even exists in me.

And thank my lucky stars that I have a husband who loves me and allows me to have my feelings, without recrimination.

Sigh.